After my New Year’s weekend celebration I found myself sitting upright in a dentist office waiting for my six-month cleaning to commence. Only this appointment was going to be different, they were going to notice something different about me.

As my dental hygienist pulled out the machine to take x-rays of my teeth she asked me about a job my ma told her I was interested in. I didn’t want to jinx it by talking that much about it (and with that in mind, I’m not going to jinx it by typing much on it either!)

I told her I’m ready for a change, I want a salary for crying out loud. “The time is now,” she said.

Throughout the cleaning I was excited. I couldn’t wait for her to say “Oh! Looks like a wisdom tooth is poking through in the back!” A couple months ago I felt a pain in my upper right while eating Cheerio’s (Honey Nut, baby). It was a pain I assumed could only mean my wisdom teeth were finally coming in. At 22 years-old, with a college degree and no serious job, I needed a sign that I had some wisdom within.

She said nothing about the small bump in my gum. When the dentist came in for a final check, all he said was “no cavities!” Though I was relieved, I didn’t understand why they didn’t say anything about my wisdom bump, especially since six months ago they were both insisting constantly that I must get my wisdom teeth removed.

“Um, I’m pretty sure I have a wisdom tooth coming in the top right?” I had to burst my own bubble. He said he didn’t see anything but would look again. I opened wide, and he said it wasn’t a wisdom tooth. It was my jaw bone.

I guess the fact that my wisdom teeth are moving at a glacial pace doesn’t mean I’m not wise. But I thought it would be a fun, aspiring feeling to start 2011 with some growth. I don’t want to say I feel like a loser, but I am getting a little antsy and impatient with my life right now.

I enjoy working at a gym, don’t get me wrong. But, at 22 and with a rocking GPA out of college I thought I’d find something promising faster. I know it’s mostly my fault not just the recession; I waited until summer was practically over to start looking for a big girl job because I was so excited to be done with school for the first time in my life.

Up until I graduated college, my life was like a classic book available on Spark Notes, one that all kids in America were forced to read at one point in their lives, like “The Great Gatsby.”The next chapters were easy to figure out, they were all right there. After I walked across that stage at Old Dominion with an alumni pin in my hand, my book was banned. It could no longer be searched in Spark Notes. Now, I have to find everything myself.

I’m excited and terrified. I’m in the world right now with a blank slate and blank stare, ready for and worried about the real world.

I went to Lo’s work Christmas party in December and talked to some of her superiors. I wanted to show class and maturity around them…with that in mind I consciously kept reminding myself not to say “um” or “yeah” or “like” repeatedly. At one point I caught myself saying “huh?” I felt as if I was punching my college degree in the face. All I need right now is wisdom and self-assurance that I already have it.

Life after college… I applied for a graduate school and a few jobs, and I’m going to have to wait and see what happens. One thing is for certain, I’ll be getting my wisdom teeth removed. One of these days.


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