The penis and the bachelorette


The bachelorette started cracking up when her maid of honor handed her a wand, saying she had to carry it around throughout her bachelorette party. It was pink with ribbons, topped off with an erect penis.

All of us girls were giggling at the penis wand, passing it around, putting it in each other’s faces as a joke. We ate our penis lollipops and nearly died laughing when we saw the penis cake a friend made for the bachelorette. It was Funfetti, with creamy icing… delicious.

I always thought penis accessories were more than appropriate, mandatory if you will, at a bachelorette party. It reminds the bride-to-be that she will only be with one after she gets married for the rest of her life, and it reminds her single bridesmaids that they have so many to choose from throughout their lives.

But… sometimes… I just miss the days when life wasn’t all about penises. You know, the simple times before we had that friend who freaked out about dying alone just because a few of her friends were getting married.

During that bachelorette party, we had an epic ladies night at a gay club that had a plethora of lesbians. We had a great time dancing without being distracted by ridiculously good looking men or being disturbed by the uncalled for, obnoxious, drunken men with no game at clubs/bars.

Side note… two different lesbians did hit on one of our friends, but it was still a blast!

In the July 2011 issue of Cosmopolitan, there is an article about the things women should have never stopped doing while growing up. The number one thing was listening to the Spice Girls.

Yes! Do you remember those songs? Girls, we had something stronger than boyfriends, fiancées, husbands… we had Girl Power at that age. No wonder Cosmopolitan, one of the smartest and sexiest mags out there, thinks women should have never given that up.

At the end of the night, Lo, the maid of honor, couldn’t take it anymore. I mean, I didn’t blame her or the amount of alcohol she drank, but when she wanted to stop by a local bar to be around testosterone for a bit I thought it was funny.

It’s always about boys, isn’t it? And with straight boys, it’s always about girls. As a little girl I always remembered having a crush or two… those cute and innocent crushes we have all had. Before worrying about “getting it in.” Now we go to bars and clubs, wondering what kind of reactions we’ll get with our cleavage out. As if getting hit on validated how hot we looked that night. Even if our girl friends kept telling us all night we look amazing, and we knew we looked amazing.

I know I know, I love men, and I love being in healthy relationships with men. They’re fun to spend time with and play with, and one day start a new life with. But spending a night dancing without “oh he’s cute” or “oh, is he looking at me? Do I look OK?!?!?!?!”… That was a nice change. Not necessarily a permanent change, but it was nice.

But let’s not forget, girl’s rule. 😛


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