Dog people are crazy

My family’s beautiful Boxer and my handsome Chihuahua


Chancho, first of all, is not a “dog.” He is like a son to me, my baby. I got him for my 21st birthday, best present ever (thank you ma and dad!). And yes, he is the world’s cutest Chihuahua.

The sad thing is I’m serious. If you’ve ever seen my little five pound angel you would understand.

I had a thought the other day while I was at the vet. Chancho has been chewing on his arms and legs so my ma and I went to make sure it wasn’t anything serious. As we sat in the waiting room, everyone who laid eyes on him (as he was wearing a Burberry pattern collar) instantly complimented his cuteness, which only continues my obsession for this little monster of mine.

One short and slightly overweight man was in there with a pug. FYI, I do think there are people who look like their pets and he was DEFINITELY one of them.  I felt like such a mom when I looked at the pug and was worried the dog was sick and could get my little angel sick. I also thought “my dog is so much cuter.” This worries me.

What if I’m that kind of mother?! The one that believes her child is God’s gift to the world, the delusional type of mother who believes they have the perfect child. I see the signs. Those mothers who let their precious demon children run around the super market, screaming at the top of their lungs without punishment could be correlated to me getting upset at Chancho for chewing up and destroying my black sandals or getting mad at him for barking at a neighborhood girl riding her bike, then five seconds later kissing his little face and calling him the cutest dog in the world.

No wonder he doesn’t stop chewing my shoes or barking at that kid. Oh my God, I’m going to be a questionable mother. I thought I’d be the kind of woman who would never have a problem hitting my kid if I ever had children. But, one day I hit little Chancho really hard, a swift slap on his ass because he wouldn’t stop humping our beautiful Boxer, Chica. After that smack he hid in the corner of the family room for about 45 minutes and looked at me like I was the mother from “Carrie.” I haven’t hit him since.

And those mothers who always shove pictures of their babies in the faces of people they just met…I could see myself doing that. I will not make him a Facebook page though, that’s a little much. He just makes it into almost every album I have. My cell is full of pictures of Chancho. And you better believe they are the cutest pictures. Ever.

While at the vet, my ma asked the doctor about possibly getting him fixed. This is a touchy subject. I don’t want to deny Chancho of spreading his seed and making more crazy adorable Chihuahuas that will hopefully take after him.

I believe he could be a show dog. This also worries me. I’m one of those people who think the mother’s in the show “Toddler’s and Tiaras” are borderline insane for putting their kids in those pageants, yet I wouldn’t second guess that my Chancho couldn’t win a dog show (at least in the toy dog category). I wouldn’t make him wear false teeth or let someone spray tan him however.

I often make the joke that I couldn’t love a human baby as much as I love Chancho, obviously making a reference to Will Ferrell in the film “Blades of Glory.” And every time I look at him, I say “Oh my God, he just got cuter!”  I know I’m not the only dog owner who feels this way about my little mouse dog. He and my princess Chica are the best dogs ever. What can I say, I’m a proud dog owner.

And in case you were concerned, Chancho was biting himself because of grass allergies and is on medication and is feeling much better.  And he’s still adorable. 🙂


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